Christmas 2009

I made a full recovery from my stomach flu for Christmas morning (it was a chicken noodle Christmas Eve). Just in the nick of time as well. Elsie came down to a new dollhouse "I can't believe this Dad it is so amazing! Santa just left this here for me?" and Henry got four new cars that he has played with nonstop. It's funny, Elsa likes to dress up her polly pocket dolls while Henry makes car sounds and crashes them into walls. Are we encouraging stereotypical gender roles? They do see that Ruth likes to bake and I like to cure and smoke meat. But Ruth goes to boot camp twice a week at 6AM and I make homemade jam in the summer!

Maybe the H-Man will be the first openly gay USC Heisman trophy-winning quarterback...

Other holiday highlights:

Getting my mojo back on the squash court

Taking Elsie to see Fantastic Mr. Fox at the Cinema

Henry hugs (he's really into Dad right now)

Pork roast with glazed turnips and carrots on Christmas Day

Scotch from Santa

A phone chat with Charles

Badgers over the U!

Bears over the Vikings on MNF!

Cribbage games with Ruth

Hearing Henry say Santa (SIN-duh!) - just like he said LIN-da last summer in Wisco...

Lucky Penny for Santa

Santa is one penny richer this Christmas season. Elsie was intent on giving him a "lucky penny" when she met him at the Children's Museum last week.

She's a believer! It's fun to listen to her rationalize his existence in the face of some offhand comments she hears from bigger kids - "he has to live at the North Pole, someone has to take care of the reindeer..." Ah, the innocence of youth! She wants to give him a big fat carrot and other "healthy snacks" (under advice from Mum). I keep hinting that what Santa really wants is scotch.

Elsa is 5

On Sunday we took six of Elsa's friends to see The Princess and the Frog, then after had ice cream cake. Monday night we had a family party- complete with rose petals decorating yet another cake.

That's our son Henry in the bottom left hand corner.

Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down!

Cross the laces, pull tight, make two loops, wrap them together, pull tight.

At 4 years, 351 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes, and 4 seconds: Elsie learns how to tie her shoe!

Thanksgiving Day at Mendon Ponds Park

We took a hike at Mendon Ponds Park Thanksgiving morning and visited the Birdsong Trail. Finches and Nuthatches eat seed right out of your hands. It was great. Henry tried but he started eating the seeds himself. He much preferred the off-road strollering.

Pumpkins

Elsie drew the faces, and I carved the pumpkins. It was truly a collaborative project. She has a certain style already. You can tell, look at both faces- they are similar. The mouths sort of remind me of the way in which she draws princess gowns. The little crayon just goes and goes and goes on a wide arc.

Don't Back Up

Mountain biking at the "Grand Canyon of the East" last weekend: Letchworth State Park. That's the mighty Genesee River cutting through in the background. I fell several times. It's hard to see the roots under all those leaves.

Mr. Rabbit and the Queen

Armed with my trusty holstered carrot, Elsie and I took to Marion Street with a vengeance in search of Kit Kats, Snickers, and Sour Patch Kids. We were successful, but I did freeze my cotton tail off. We had to convince Elsa to wear her fleece, which she finally consented to in hour two.

Here we are relaxing on the porch enjoying our bounty at around 8PM on Halloween night. I heard Elsa wake up about four hours later crying, "my tummy HURTS!"

Family Walk

Elsa, we're going for a walk because it's a beautiful day. And then we'll read a book. The more books you read and the more walks you take, the bigger your brain grows.

Dad, is your brain at the top of your head? Is it the squishy stuff inside your head?

New Bear Fan

Ladies and Gentlemen! Please welcome! One of the newest Bear fans!

Mr. Henry Hawkinson! (loud cheer)

Thank you, thank you everyone. It really is a pleasure to be with you. The Bears are 3-1 going into their bye week, which came at a great time. Hester, Knox, and Idonije can rest up. I am eagerly awaiting the Sunday night Atlanta game, even though I will be in my footies and asleep in my crib. Dad keeps telling me to not take Jay Cutler for granted, but I don't know what he's talking about.

Again, a pleasure to be with you Bear fans!

Hot Dogs!

146 Hot Dogs!

We were a little concerned about the amount of MACE that the recipe required, but they turned out to be delicious. This is late in the evening on Saturday after about 12 hours of smoking.

Now all we have to do is get 24 hot dog bun packages.

Fast Break

"Henry Hawkinson gets the outlet pass from underneath the Honda. He checks down court for an open man. There's no one! He's on his own! A fast break! He dribbles past the Oldsmobile, around the scooter. He slips on the oil slick in the driveway. Is he injured? No, folks, he's just lost a shoe. This may be tricky. Opponents are bearing down on him. There's still time! He gets up and continues WITH ONE SHOE! What a fighter! He shoots! Ah! The ball goes three inches in the air and in the OPPOSITE direction of the hoop. Hawkinson doesn't seem to mind. He runs into the garage, and pulls Dad's bike on top of him. That's got to hurt."

19th Century Washerwomen

Ruth is good. She's good. She invented a game called "19th Century Washerwomen". In it, Ruth and Elsa dress up as 19th Century washerwomen and clean the house. I am the master of the house, who threatens to send them to the poorhouse if they don't work hard. I wear Dickensian pantaloons and speak in a very authentic Wisco-Cockney accent while waving a cane...

Elsa washed several windows, and scrubbed the floor. Ruth is good. She's good...

What Were You Thinking?

in tribute to Phil Hartman interview of Dana Carvey's Walter Mondale on SNL...

Jeremy: Mr. Bowlen, are you aware that Jay Cutler passed for over 4,500 yards last year?

Pat Bowlen: I know.

Jeremy: And Mr. Bowlen, do you know that he set a franchise record with that stat?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: Do you also know who Cutler had to pass to get that record?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: John Elway?

PB: I know, I know...

Jeremy: Do you know who you got in return for Cutler?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: Kyle Orton?

PB: I know, I know.

Jeremy: Who broke a nail on Sunday night's game and had to leave?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: So, Mr. Bowlen. I have one last question for you. What were you thinking?

PB: (pause) I...don't know.

Pain in the Neck

My neck has been giving me such problems lately. It must be all that air travel, my hard crib mattress, the car seat that Dad lashes me to. Thank goodness Brian introduced me to this neck pillow. I feel fantastic! Now all I need is something for my tennis elbow.

Lifeguard Mike

Easy there Lifeguard Mike! That's tight enough! Isn't this thing supposed to save me? I can't breathe!

Summer Fun 2009!

Looks like Elsa would rather be eating tacos with Ramon or swimming with Lifeguard Mike! Alas, another Corn and Brat Weekend has come and gone. But what a success! We all learned so much:

Henry learned how to say "Lin-DA" (emphasis on the second syllable)

Chris learned how to correctly put on a life preserver

Ben learned how to properly store Tanqueray

Jeremy learned that no one in Williams Bay remembers him because he was called Ben twice and Chris three times at the Corn and Brat (even OLE called me Chris! Wha?)

Brian learned how to tube 7 feet in the air

Page learned to never offer to read "Cinderella" again

Brad learned that Pepto-Bismol is a good thing

Ruth, Colleen, and Linda learned that the beds are still itchy at McDonald House

and...Elsa learned how to pray! Alright!

Heluva Good French Onion Dip

Growing up in Wisconsin we ate Dean's French Onion Dip. Henry likes Heluva Good French Onion Dip, made in Sodus, NY. He eats it as a main course, with fresh vegetables and grilled meats on the side. But he also uses it as a moisturizer/exfoliant. Here he is giving me a foot massage using the dip, diluted with a bit of kiddie pool water.

Kindling

"Go collect some kindling!"

kin⋅dling: noun
1. material that can be readily ignited, used in starting a fire 2. the act of one who kindles

I stared at a blank expression. We were five miles outside of Ithaca, NY, camping deep in the woods, maybe a quarter mile from county Road 34. Five feet away from the car, sure, but we needed kindling! Brian still stared at me. Brad knew the definition, but only because he had a few more years of vocabulary building, and he still had no idea how to collect it. Anyway, it's their Dad's fault for not initiating them into manhood properly.

"Look around you! Use your man instincts!"

Still blank. So we got in the car and bought some Topps Supermarket Firewood for 5.99 a bundle. I dropped a gallon of water on the way out and we ran without waiting for cleanup.

Going to be cold. Stopped at the VOA Second Hand for some pants and a flea infested sleeping bag. Bought a 34 waist what was I thinking I said goodbye to that years ago but the sleeping bag was awesome.

Blinded everyone with my sweet new Platz headlight all night (paid $40 for that at Eastern Mountain Sports after a 22-year-old salesman with cool sideburns said he couldn't live without it when he was winter camping in the Adirondacks). Bradley slept through my Evinrude Outboard Motor snoring but Chris didn't, he reminded me about it three times during our Coleman Gas Stove breakfast. I told him Ruth doesn't say I snore. Note to self: Don't grill toast over propane.

Brad and Chris schooled us at badminton (although Brian's overhead amd my Lin Dan serve will resurface with ferocity at Apple Valley next week), we swam in 62 degree water, we ate meat, ham, and twizzlers. All around a successful camping expedition in Western New York.

Major League City

I always told Ruth that when we moved from NYC, it had to be to a city with a major league baseball team. Ha! Here we are in Rochester, home of the Triple A Red Wings. Lots of no name players, no tailgating, no visits from the Brewers or Mets. But you know what? I couldn't care less (see above photo).

Strawberry Fields Forever

Berries in Bucket:

Dad - 13 pounds of berries

Elsa - 2 berries

Dad, Put the Cheetos Down

It's OK to wear pants in the house. I know there is a LOT of delivery pizza in the fridge. Organize the recyclables for godsake. Do some laundry! And, get back on my time schedule, start waking up earlier tomorrow and Monday, because I will return on Tuesday. Oh yes, I will return on Tuesday.

Separated at Birth Part 7

Maggie Cheung from Wong Kar Wei's In the Mood for Love.

Elsa Bean from Mum and Dad's front yard, next to Dad's favorite bush. Thanks for the dress, Adina!

See past Separated at Births:

http://elsabean.blogspot.com/search?q=separated+at+birth

Hannibal Henry

Dad once tried to test me. I ate his beets with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

RED ALERT RED ALERT

RED ALERT!

Euro soccer shoes in the house! They do not fit Dad! Dad's are the big K-Swiss squash shoes... That means someone is working on his soccer skills in this American household!

Oh wait. Henry likes kicking a ball. I need a rule book. Or maybe just a couple of hours with Markus, he can walk me through the rules. Or Page. Page played soccer from 1975-1984 before he found out that the Packers were, 6-8 in 1984! and he should become a lifelong fan!

I always did kind of like ol' Jan Stenerud! I did!

Dancing Queen

You can dance! You can jive!
Having the time of your life!
See that girl, watch that scene!
Digging the dancing queen!

Hawk Dome

Can't...get...Elsie's helmet...to...fit...

Head...too...big!

Have to...push hard...try...to get straps...around chin....

A Day in the Life

6AM Henry wakes up
6:10 Henry gets bottle from Mum

6:15 Elsie wakes up
6:20 Elsie and Henry get breakfast from Mum
6:21 Dad still sleeping
7:15 Dad gets up
8:45 Elsie and Henry to KidTown, Mum to the gym
8:50 Dad makes waffles for the week
10:00 Dad packs for picnic
10:30 Everyone returns from gym, placed into bike trailer

10:31 Dad pulls trailer, Mum follows behind as human barrier
10:50 Arrival at Ellison Park for lunch

10:55 Fun Lunch
12:00 Depart for home
12:10 Henry falls asleep in trailer, waking to the occasional bump
12:30 Home!

12:32 Henry naps

12:35 Kiddie pool set up outside
12:40 Elsie helps Dad wash car
1:00 Elsie plays in rain bucket
1:10 Dad turns on Mets game
3:00 Henry wakes up
3:05 Dance Party in dining room
3:20 "Welcome to the Royal Elsa" show in dining room
4:00 Back to playing in standing water rain bucket

5:00 Elsie and Henry eat dinner
6:00 Henry goes to bed, Elsie watches Max and Ruby
6:30 Elsie and Dad read a few chapters of The Magic Tree House
7:00 Elsie goes to bed
7:05 Elsie asks Dad to "jump in when it rocks!"

7:10 Elsie asks for more water
7:15 Elsie asks for her sheets to be straightened
7:30 Risotto and grilled shrimp for Mum and Dad
8:00 an episode of Last Restaurant Standing

9:00 BED

Wisconsin Easter Egg Hunt

I'm having trouble differentiating between what is for me and what are decorations. No matter! I will eat seven malted milk ball eggs before church.

To Do List

Wheelbarrow needs fixin'. Gotta put another coat of paint on the garage, reinforce the roof in the back. Get the garden planted. Learn to poop in a toilet. Clear out the blackberry patch. Paint a couple of rooms in the house. Figure out how to say the word "cat". Put some new boards on the deck, put some J-channel where the siding hits the roof on the house. Transition to a Big Boy bed.

It's going to be quite a summer, lot of hard work.

I Want to Eat That Candle

I want to eat that candle,

Upon my birthday cake.

It's on fire and will burn

My tongue and not taste great.

But ah! My Basketball Cake!

(check out the M&M lacing, way to go Ruth)

Ah, his first`year has come and gone. We'll miss it so much. The crying at 5AM, the snot pouring from his nose, his refusal to eat in his high chair, or wear his Bears uniform, or Brewers uniform, or Mets...

But we will miss it, it is flying by:

http://elsabean.blogspot.com/search?q=happy+birthday+to+me

Separated at Birth

Maybe it's just me, but I think the H-Man looks a lot like Brian in this picture. Hopefully he will be able to charm the ladies just as well. And play hockey and lacrosse and badminton like him.

Hot Pants

YOUNG MAN! There's no need to feel down. I said,

YOUNG MAN! Pick yourself off the ground. I said,

YOUNG MAN! 'Cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy!

YOUNG MAN! Here's a place you can go. I said,

YOUNG MAN! When you're short on your dough. You can
STAY THERE! And I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

Valentine's Day

Elsa + Dylan

http://daddydarling.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-day.html

Sanchez Out, Hawkinson In

Mark Sanchez made his own call, and it wasn't a big hit with coach Pete Carroll.

Coming off a record-setting Rose Bowl, the Southern California quarterback will skip his senior season to enter the NFL draft -- going against the advice of Carroll.

Sanchez, a fourth-year junior, announced his plans at a campus news conference Thursday, the deadline for underclassmen to declare for the draft. The past three stars who played quarterback at USC under Carroll stayed for their senior seasons, and the former NFL coach thought Sanchez should do the same.

"I'm just glad Henry Hawkinson will be ready to step in," said Carroll after the press conference, "here's a young man who, at ten months, is poised to take over where Mark left off."

A few things have to happen for Carroll's dream to become a reality. Hawkinson is not yet potty trained, and has to quickly complete thirteen years of course work before he can get his high school diploma.

"Im not concerned," beamed Carroll, "his transition to solid foods was smooth, and I believe that sort of fortitude will help him learn the USC offense."

Hawkinson can throw the ball about two feet in the air, and it usually lands in the exact opposite direction in which it is aimed. His father, a one-time Division III starting quarterback (career record 2-7, 12 TDs, 20 INTs) is also anticipating the transition.

"He really likes the school's colors, and can almost say Hut Hut Hike. It sounds like, AH-BA AH-BA....BA"

The Hawkinsons plan to hold a press conference in late March.

We Need a Zamboni

Elsie and I checked out the downtown skating rink. It was closed the day we went, and there was about three inches of snow covering it. It turned out to be a good thing because that ice was a little slippery. I hope that I can teach Elsa how to skate as well as my brother Chris taught his son Brad. Chris took everything he learned (from the three years in which he skated, right before Kenny Gates whooped his @#% in the 1976 Bay Lions Winter Carnival Skating Competition) and turned Brad into quite a hockey player. Brad, you should be thankful.

Chris still tells that story. He told it again last time he visited. "AAAH! KENNYYYYYYY!"

Elsa's New Food Chart

Ruth came up with a plan. Elsie gets a special treat for every five new foods she tries. This pic was taken right before she tried HOISIN SAUCE to complete her first five new foods goal. I picked up a copy of the musical Annie and we watched it last night (...fun answering the question Daddy what's an orphan?)

Anyway, her five foods were:

BUTTER BEANS

STAR AND MOON FRIES

CREPES

CANNOLI

HOISIN SAUCE

We didn't really know how to make nutritional value a prequisite. The crepes were stuffed with jam and then slathered in maple syrup. The cannoli, was, well, a cannoli. And the star and moon fries were, well, french fries. And she had one butter bean and a pea sized drop of hoisin sauce.

She's moved on to her next five, and so far has eaten MARMITE (this morning with eggs) and FARO. Which is like barley. She ate one grain...

Forgotten Buffalo

Neighbor Mike gave us an afternoon tour of Forgotten Buffalo spots. We hit the Broadway Market where we were able to buy chruscikis, fried dough cookies covered with sugar. Redlinski's Meat Market for polish sausage, pierogis, and kiszka (looks a bit like potato sausage). But the highlight of the trip was lunch at the R and L Lounge. Mike had read that the food was good, but had not been there before. It was about two blocks from the market so we went for it.

Walking in it felt like I was back in Milwaukee. Three older gentlemen at the bar glanced over. The proprietor immediately walked over to us with a smile, greeting us with "and who's this?" She told us to sit in one of the booths on one side of the bar so we plopped down, Henry and Elsa in tow, and she disappeared in back. Later she emerged with homemade pierogis and stuffed cabbage. Turned out the R and L stood for Ronnie and Lottie, the couple who owned the place. Lottie cooked the food for us and even took care of Henry while we ate. And she gave me some solid parenting advice as well: don't spoil them, plant them in the stroller so you can enjoy your lunch, and my favorite- sugar for hiccups!