Family Walk

Elsa, we're going for a walk because it's a beautiful day. And then we'll read a book. The more books you read and the more walks you take, the bigger your brain grows.

Dad, is your brain at the top of your head? Is it the squishy stuff inside your head?

New Bear Fan

Ladies and Gentlemen! Please welcome! One of the newest Bear fans!

Mr. Henry Hawkinson! (loud cheer)

Thank you, thank you everyone. It really is a pleasure to be with you. The Bears are 3-1 going into their bye week, which came at a great time. Hester, Knox, and Idonije can rest up. I am eagerly awaiting the Sunday night Atlanta game, even though I will be in my footies and asleep in my crib. Dad keeps telling me to not take Jay Cutler for granted, but I don't know what he's talking about.

Again, a pleasure to be with you Bear fans!

Hot Dogs!

146 Hot Dogs!

We were a little concerned about the amount of MACE that the recipe required, but they turned out to be delicious. This is late in the evening on Saturday after about 12 hours of smoking.

Now all we have to do is get 24 hot dog bun packages.

Fast Break

"Henry Hawkinson gets the outlet pass from underneath the Honda. He checks down court for an open man. There's no one! He's on his own! A fast break! He dribbles past the Oldsmobile, around the scooter. He slips on the oil slick in the driveway. Is he injured? No, folks, he's just lost a shoe. This may be tricky. Opponents are bearing down on him. There's still time! He gets up and continues WITH ONE SHOE! What a fighter! He shoots! Ah! The ball goes three inches in the air and in the OPPOSITE direction of the hoop. Hawkinson doesn't seem to mind. He runs into the garage, and pulls Dad's bike on top of him. That's got to hurt."

19th Century Washerwomen

Ruth is good. She's good. She invented a game called "19th Century Washerwomen". In it, Ruth and Elsa dress up as 19th Century washerwomen and clean the house. I am the master of the house, who threatens to send them to the poorhouse if they don't work hard. I wear Dickensian pantaloons and speak in a very authentic Wisco-Cockney accent while waving a cane...

Elsa washed several windows, and scrubbed the floor. Ruth is good. She's good...

What Were You Thinking?

in tribute to Phil Hartman interview of Dana Carvey's Walter Mondale on SNL...

Jeremy: Mr. Bowlen, are you aware that Jay Cutler passed for over 4,500 yards last year?

Pat Bowlen: I know.

Jeremy: And Mr. Bowlen, do you know that he set a franchise record with that stat?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: Do you also know who Cutler had to pass to get that record?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: John Elway?

PB: I know, I know...

Jeremy: Do you know who you got in return for Cutler?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: Kyle Orton?

PB: I know, I know.

Jeremy: Who broke a nail on Sunday night's game and had to leave?

PB: I know.

Jeremy: So, Mr. Bowlen. I have one last question for you. What were you thinking?

PB: (pause) I...don't know.

Pain in the Neck

My neck has been giving me such problems lately. It must be all that air travel, my hard crib mattress, the car seat that Dad lashes me to. Thank goodness Brian introduced me to this neck pillow. I feel fantastic! Now all I need is something for my tennis elbow.